Moments
by lrigD
Summary: Missing moments through the years. There's not really a better summary for it, read to see what I mean!
1. 1x10 The Popular Kids

_**I got this idea in the middle of the night - as usual, that time (and when I'm showering) seems to be when I get my best ideas.  
Anyway, it's kind of like a missing-moments thing. Not original, I know. Originally, I declined it, because it is so not-original. But then I got these sentences in my head that just wouldn't go out.**_

Takes place in the episode The Popular Kids, with the 'satanic cult' killing people. Also the episode where Reid tells Morgan about his nightmares, and Morgan says something along the lines of 'I'm not the right person to talk to.' I immediately drew some conclusions (wrong, I know) - though, later on, the conclusions were kind of proven wrong. At least in that episode. I can't really talk freely, but I think most of those who watch CM (and who understand my weird babbling) know where I'm heading.

_**Not mine, by the way. For future disclaimers, go back here.**_

Enjoy!

* * *

Reid was surprised when Morgan had told him about his own nightmares. He definitely hadn't expected someone like Morgan to wake up on sheets soaked from the sweat, entangled in the blankets and disoriented.

He guessed it was stupid to think he was the only one – he knew everyone had nightmares. It was normal, even good in a way. And in their profession, when they saw the worst of what humanity could do, who wouldn't get nightmares?

Yet Morgan seemed so strong, the toughest guy, a man who could overcome any obstacle.

_That's probably why he was so reluctant to talk_, Reid thought. Morgan hadn't wanted to destroy his image, just like Reid hadn't. Telling someone else was hard to do, but in a way he was glad he was in a team of profilers. They could see the signs themselves, and he didn't have to tell everything. It was a blessing, even though he knew talking helped. He just didn't feel like exposing.

A soft voice shook him out of his thoughts.

"Reid…" Gideon, seated opposite him, held up his wallet. It showed a photo of a family.

"Deborah Louise Edison, her husband Tim, the kids …"

--

Morgan stared ahead of him, hearing his music only in the distance. Since his talk with Reid he'd been back to where he'd been before, afraid to sleep because it would make the nightmares come back. So, instead of sleeping, he was desperately trying to stay awake, even though his body screamed for sleep. When he was home, he'd take a sleeping pill and be ensured of a dreamless night.

He had talked to Reid to help the young man, because he knew what he felt like. He wanted Reid to know there were things you could do about it, that talking helped. Reid was too shy to just go to someone and start talking, so he'd told Hotch and Gideon, the latter having helped himself as well. He knew Gideon could help Reid. Gideon and Reid had a father-son relationship that was obvious to anyone. Heck, Gideon was a father figure to anyone, but it seemed Reid and Gideon connected unusually well, maybe because of their shared passion for chess.

He shook his head to clear the thoughts whirling around in his mind. Stating the obvious wouldn't help him get anywhere.

He hoped he had somewhat helped Reid, even though he had only send him through to someone else. It was true, Morgan _wasn't_ the person to talk to about nightmares.

Because he hadn't told Reid or anyone else about the other nightmares he had, in which a wholly different victim starred.

Himself.

* * *

**_Love? Hate? Please tell me! _**

**_I have at least one more one-shot, I'll be posting that one right after this one. I hope you enjoy that one, too. It was more difficult to write, since I only just thought of it (like 30 minutes ago - guess where? Lol) and I've seen that episode a while ago. Anyway. Please review!_**


	2. 1x14 Riding the Lightning

**_So this is way shorter than the other one. Not that that one is long..._**

**_This one takes place during/after Riding the Lightning, the episode where the team goes to a prison to visit a couple sentenced to death. They've been sentenced because of the murders of 12 girls/women. Sarah Jean, the wife, only admitted to killing her own son, Riley. Jacob kind of admitted to the others, if I remember correctly.  
Gideon suspects that Sarah Jean is innocent, and it's a race against time to prove it._**

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

Sarah Jean had reminded him of all the innocent people in the world – the people who were forced into their position, who had been the victim of someone much more brutal.

His emotions had gone haywire during the investigation, everything whirling in his head, finding no place to stay. But then he had seen her on the camera, and something in him changed. He needed to keep it together for her. He owed her the truth, even if it was one she already knew.

His speculations had gone everywhere, addressing almost everything he had noticed in her behaviour. But, being a trained profiler, he knew speculations wouldn't get him anywhere. He needed solid information, a profile and the tech girl's help.

He admired Sarah Jean, for sticking up for her son, for protecting him even in that last hour after Jacob had died. He admired her for her strength and her composure that she kept during those tough moments.

He hadn't cried at the execution, knowing the last face she'd see shouldn't be one with tears on it. He knew that even if he had wanted to cry, he simply couldn't. His tears were something that rarely came out – in fact, he couldn't remember the last time he had actually cried.

His feelings during the execution were everything at once – sadness for the lost cause, anger at the way she had been a victim, happiness that she finally found peace.

It had been the happiness that had kept him from breaking down. She was content with going like this. He would never be able to fully understand Sarah Jean, but he could at least respect her for the decisions she'd made and how she'd stuck by them.

At her son's concert, though, he had felt the tears gliding down his cheeks. They weren't for his mother, but for her son. For a boy who would never know his true parents and what a great mother his could've been – if only her life hadn't been destroyed by Jacob.

_If only_… It seemed like those words crept up a lot in his mind. He knew it was no use dwelling on what could have happened: it hadn't happened, and that is what mattered.

But he couldn't shake the thoughts off of him. Sarah Jean **would** have been a good mother – loving and caring. In the two years she had been with him, she'd treated him like a mother would treat her son. He had seen it in her eyes and his own intuition told him the rest. She had loved her son, maybe because he was the one sane thing in her insane world. Someone she would keep fighting for.

He would never know just how much she had fought.

* * *

**_I realized my mistake when I re-read - Sarah Jean HAD been a mother for those two years. Changed my fic a little bit.  
But what do you think? Please tell me!_**


	3. 1x19 Machismo

**_Well, I've been thinking about this a lot lately, also because of my other stories and general experiences. This is my take on it, hopefully a bit realistic._**

It takes place in episode 19 of season one, 'Machismo'. That's the episode where they go to Mexico and Reid talks his adorable Spanish, only to be interrupted by a way better Elle, in case you forgot (I absolutely loved that scene, also because I am a fan of Spanish. I sincerely I hope I sound better than Reid's 'La casa del pair-o'). It's in, you've guessed it, Elle's point of view.

**_I know it's short, but really, I'm writing this as a series of one-shots. Up until now, every chapter has taken less than one page in Word, I'm trying to stick to that tradition. Maybe it'll get longer._**

**_Tell me what you think! Love? Hate? Both?_**

* * *

All the stories she'd heard recently just made her angry. She had been used to it, back in the days she worked in sex crimes, but it was different if she heard it from the women themselves, saw the damage that had been done. The fact that they spoke in Spanish only made it worse. A language she'd always been comfortable with, a language that gave her a feeling of safety – only to hear these horrible stories.

She couldn't imagine what these women had gone through – the way one single man destroyed their whole life and their feelings towards men. Of course, she had been familiar with the emotions that surrounded sex crimes, but that was in the USA, where rapes were quite often reported. In Mexico, the women didn't talk simply because they knew it wouldn't help – afraid that it would destroy their image, afraid of revenge… So many things to be afraid of.

It made her angry that men had the possibility to do these things to women. Ninety percent of all rape victims were female, ninety percent of all sexual crimes were committed by men. It wasn't a fair balance. Women had always been under viewed, regarded as less by the dominant male community.

She was more sensitive to sex crimes, she had noticed it before with other cases. They filled her with anger just like this one did. They probably filled everyone with anger. Anger at what people could do to their fellow human beings.

It shouldn't be different for her. She had never been a victim to any sex crime, apart from a little unwanted attention now and then. Nothing she couldn't handle.

Then why did it affect her so much she sometimes couldn't sleep at night, cried herself to sleep and woke up to nightmares?

She didn't understand. She had never told anyone about that particular side of her, only referring to those days occasionally. But it did worry her, and she did still think about it many times.

In a way, she thought, rape and abuse was worse than murder – simply because murder meant the end, no more brutality. Sex crimes lasted a lifetime.

* * *


	4. 1x20 Charm and Harm

**_Well, this is the furthest OOC I have written so far - or so I'd like to think._**

**_The look that Elle and JJ shared when they were walking towards the conference room - I just noticed it. It intrigued me. Got me to thinking, and this is what came of it. It's longer than the rest (yay!), because I couldn't find a way to end it sooner. It had to end the way it did, in order to keep it canon with the next episode. Otherwise we would've seen more of the 'supposed boyfriend'._**

Oh, in case you have no idea what I'm talking about: This is the episode with the killer who uses different appearances/professions to lure them, only to torture and drown them. In this episode, Morgan is suspicious of Elle because she kept calling. He thinks she's got a boyfriend.

**_I like to thank Sue1313, by the way, for being the only one to review. So thank you! As for the others: come on people, I'm sure more of you read this. I need you guys!_**

* * *

The look they had shared had held a wordless conversation. Elle had told JJ the truth, and she had listened to it.

--

Now they were on the plane, each preparing for the next couple of days in their own way. Elle sat at the back with her eyes closed. She wasn't surprised when she heard footsteps approaching.

"So, a boyfriend, huh?" JJ said quietly. She kept her voice down intentionally, in case Elle didn't want everyone else to know. Even though Elle showed tough behaviour, JJ knew there was a soft side to her. Besides, she knew what the chances of a social life were in this job, and what the chances were of the team **not** finding out.

Elle opened one eye and looked at JJ, who was leaning into her. She sighed. "Shut up." She closed her eyes again.

"Who is he?" JJ asked, grinning.

"An old friend," Elle said, giving in. She sensed there was no way to escape from a JJ on a mission.

"So how did it happen?" JJ asked, knowing she had cornered her colleague.

"Turned up at my doorstep a week ago," Elle replied, somewhat distracted.

"And…?" JJ prodded.

"And ended up in my bed," Elle admitted.

JJ's face split into a wide grin. Good for you, girl!" she said approvingly.

Elle grinned back, but after a moment her face fell.

"Uh-oh, what'd he do?" JJ asked, seeing the change in Elle's face.

Elle looked around at her other colleagues. When she was assured they were all too far away in their own worlds, she turned back to JJ.

"I don't know what to do about him," she confessed.

JJ frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He got into a fight with his girlfriend. He ran, came to me… He's cheating on her with me."

"Oh," JJ said, downfallen. That wasn't a nice reason for two people hooking up.

"He said he'd wanted to end it with her a long time ago, that this was the right time… It just doesn't feel right," Elle continued, talking more to herself than to JJ, who sensed she wasn't of much use anymore now. She did, however, want to offer her help to her friend.

"Talk to him when you get back," she advised Elle, even though she knew Elle wasn't likely to take advice from her. "Find out what he wants." She paused a moment. "Find out what **you** want." She stood up and walked back to her original place, leaving Elle with her thoughts.

--

Elle came home in a pretty happy mood. They had saved Kelly Dalton, they had caught Gregory. Women had been killed, but other women were safe from him now. It was a confusing paradox, but Elle preferred to think of the good side for the moment.

She opened the door to find darkness everywhere. Frowning, she turned on the light.

"Bryan?" She yelled. No one answered.

Elle began to get worried. He could've gotten out to buy some groceries, but in her line of work, suspicion was always present. She practically ran to the living room, finding it empty. His coat was gone as well.

Startled, she turned in her room, trying to find _some_ explanation.

It came in the form of a note.

_Elle,_

_Kate called me. She's pregnant. I can't leave her alone with a child. I'm sorry – I enjoyed seeing you again. I hope you did as well. I'm sorry I had to leave like this. _

_Best wishes,_

_Bryan._

_P.S. Thank you._

She placed the note back on the table, unsure of what to do.

It was good he'd left. They never would've worked out: they hadn't seen each other in too long, he had a girlfriend, a pregnant one at that… It was the right thing to happen.

Wasn't it?


	5. 2x01 The Fisher King, Part 2

**_My intuition tells me that this particular one-shot sucks, and I am inclined to agree with that. I'll tell you why at the bottom of the page, but for now just let me say that this is definitely not mine. I'm not even sure I'm doing legal things here, I sure hope so..._**

**_And also, thank you for all the reviews. Apparently it helps, asking for them :) So I ask for them again. grin  
And since I couldn't reply to kat - Thanks for your review, too. I'm happy you liked the first one, so did I. I'm pretty proud of it, too.  
Unlike this one. Well, anyway. The next one will be better, I promise._**

* * *

"Is it adventure that keeps him out of her sight," Garcia finished. "Another puzzle?"

"It's a riddle," Reid answered distractedly. His mind worked fast. _Began_ _at __**his**__ start…his…_ He wasn't even aware he was speaking out loud. His mind twirled and a thousand thoughts went through his head at once, but he focused on only a few.

Whose start did the unsub refer to? _The youngest holds the key… sits in a window…_

Could it be him? Him and… his mother? He saw her sitting there like she had sat there when he had come to the sanitarium. In front of a window…

_Secrets… adventure…_ He saw the butterfly and the baseball card. Things he had known about, but he had never told anyone… No one but his mother. Suddenly, it all became much clearer. _Secrets from her knight… _**Those** were the secrets, the things they had told Reid and Reid hadn't thought them important enough to keep them all to himself. Because of his mouth all this was happening, because he had written to get rid of his own guilt Elle had been shot…

_Focus, Spence_, Reid thought. _She sits in the window_. His mind flashed back to the nurse. _She_ _calls them your adventures._

He felt the familiar rush of anticipation, the rushing of his blood that came with a difficult question, a riddle that was to be solved.

He turned around to the table, where the piece of text they had found lay. _Never would it be night, but always clear day… bright light?_ That was strange, it wasn't always day anywhere, that was impossible by the laws of nature… That would mean it was meant metaphorically.

"_Someone delivered this to the desk last night for you."_ The envelope… The key in it. In Las Vegas he had been… Las Vegas…

"It's never night in Las Vegas," he said out loud, for the first time addressing Garcia.

"Excuse me?" She said, but he hardly heard her. Suddenly, the immensity of what was happening hit him. His mother was in danger. He had to make sure she was safe.

He hit a button on the telephone. "I need to be connected to the closest field office in Las Vegas, Nevada immediately." He was quickly connected, and took a breath. "Hi, this is Doctor Spencer Reid with the Behavioural Analysis Unit at Quantico. Look, I need my mother picked up and brought to Virginia in protective custody as soon as possible." He paused for a moment for the person on the other end of the line. "We're searching for an unsub who shot one of our agents today. And" -his voice faltered just a little bit- "I think he might know my mother and I believe she may be in danger." He hoped she wasn't hurt already – though the style of the unsub wasn't like that. _Hurry…_ "Yes. She's at the-" he paused, remembering Garcia's presence. But this was more important. "Bennington Sanitarium, in Las Vegas. Her name is Diana Reid. She's a… patient there." He hung up as soon as he heard the reply of the other person. His mind was confused, a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. But all through it he was aware of Garcia's gaze at him, a look of sympathy and shock.

She was the first to know, even though she only knew the small part she had heard. Her reaction was important, and she didn't disappoint him.

He had gone to his own little desk to think about things, to find his own peace in this chaos. He saw Garcia walking towards him, and somewhat focused his attention to her, glad for the distraction. "She's okay," Garcia told him, and when she saw the look on his face, she clarified: "Your mom. They just picked her up. She's flying here right now."

His mother hated flying. Deciding that he would worry about that later, he held up the paper with the poem on it. "I forgot she always used to read me this poem. It's funny, huh…" He trailed off. "Funny?" Garcia asked, a sharpness in her voice. "Should've realized this sooner. Nobody knows facts like JJ collects butterflies except for me. People tell me their secrets all the time. I think it's because they know I don't have anyone to betray them to. Except my mother. I – I tell her pretty much everything."

"I don't think anyone would mind," Garcia told him, the typical comforting-Garcia look in her eyes, and also a little amusement.

"Do you know that I write her a letter every day?" he asked her, even though he knew the answer.

"That's nice," Garcia said, smiling.

"Depends on **why** you're writing," he said, frowning.

Garcia became serious. "What d'you mean?"

"I write her letters, so I won't feel so guilty about not visiting her," he confessed to her. He paused for a moment, another thought dancing around in his head. "D'you know that schizophrenia is genetically passed?" He looked up at Garcia, who seemed to finally grasp the essence of what he was telling her. He looked back to the desk again. It was his worst fear, and every day it came closer to coming true.

* * *

**_See? Basically, what I did was watch that part of the episode really closely and type it over._**  
**_The reaon why is because I found that conversation between Garcia and Reid so endearing, big-sisterly like, that I just couldn't pass. Plus, I wanted to do something with this episode anyway, because it's an important one. Just couldn't really find the right things to write - so I went with this.  
Anyway, I've got to go now. So, please tell me what you think, and what I can improve._**


	6. 2x07 North Mammon

**_Just thought I'd update right away, so that there's also some good. Not that this one is necessarily good, but I think it's better than the last one.  
Anyway, this takes place when they're all going home again, in the episode 'North Mammon'. It's the one where 3 friends are locked up in a cold cellar-something and forced to make a choice. When they made the choice to let the ill one die, the unsub threw hammers in the room - the girls had to kill her themselves. They got into an argument, and the ill girl killed the most fervent one.  
It was really a great episode, which is why I just HAD to write about this - I hope you'll like it. Please review!_**

Disclaimer: I doubt they'd share it with me.

* * *

"Alright, well, I'm gonna find some place to get some sleep," Hotch said, standing up.

"Yeah, good luck with that," JJ told him, opening a case file but not really absorbing its contents.

"Thanks," he replied, and she gave a snort as she closed the file. She would do that later on: she couldn't concentrate now anyway.

She grabbed the photo on the table and looked at it, remembering those days she had still been in East Allegheny, when footballing had pretty much been her life. She'd been good at it, which was the main reason she had continued it. She had never hated the game itself, but she had hated everything that came with it. She'd been reminded of that the past couple of days, seeing the anxiety a championship game created.

Somehow her gaze had redirected to Gideon sleeping, so she looked back at the photo. Her, Anna and Holly, her two closest friends at the time. They were all on the football team together and had naturally formed a bond.

She didn't often have contact with them anymore. She'd like to have visited them these last couple of days, but they'd been so hectic she'd forgotten all about it.

JJ looked around when she heard Reid mutter something, and she smiled when she saw him in his sleep. He looked adorable like this. In fact, everyone on the team looked adorable when asleep, even someone as stern as Hotch. She guessed it was a side-effect of being asleep.

He had surprised her by talking to her tonight, acknowledging her. It felt good to be noticed, like she had told him.

She'd been honest with him. She **did** like her job. The only thing that scared her was the unwanted power she had over people. She chose a case and somehow it felt like she marked those victims. She knew it was illogical, since the other cases went to other teams, but it felt like by choosing a case, she let all the other people down, all those others who were suffering.

She looked at the pile of cases, sighing. It was the aspect of her job she least appreciated, having to choose.

But the job had to be done; the choice had to be made – no matter how much she hated it. And once she had chosen, she could be pretty certain the case was going to be solved.

The team – her team, as she sometimes liked to think, was one of the best teams the BAU had. They worked well together, had great dynamics. They had their little fall-outs, but it didn't disrupt them. It only made them get to know each other better.

She hadn't told Hotch, but the team was one of the other reasons why she liked her job so much. Each and every one of them contributed to the team, and without one they functioned less good. She'd seen that with Elle – it just wasn't the same without her.

JJ wouldn't want to leave the team for the world. They were her unofficial family, and, like any other family, they had their own problems, but they functioned together to solve them.


	7. 2x12 Profiler, Profiled

**_Thank you for the lovely reviews, everyone. I got more than ever, which may have something to do with the fact that I uploaded two chapters at once. I might do that again, because I have another chapter after this one ready. Actually, I wrote that one before this, only to realize some of what I wrote in the other chapter wasn't right. You'll see, I know I sound weird now xD_**

**_I wrote this yesterday evening while I was babysitting. It was a bit risky, but I managed._**

**_A one-shot after Profiler, Profiled has been done many times, and I can't blame anyone, it's just such a great episode. However, I thought I'd write it in a different point of view for once. Enjoy!_**

* * *

As soon as he had figured out just what Derek had wanted to hide, his emotions had gone haywire. However, he had pushed them back, like he usually did.

Derek needed acceptation rather than understanding, and while Hotch understood very well, he had been careful not to show it.

--

But now, in his own office, with no one around him, he could drop the stoic expression and think freely, or at least as freely as he would permit.

He **did** understand – though his history was very different from Derek's, they still shared some common features.

He, too, had suffered abuse at the hands of a man, though of a different kind. He, too, had kept up appearances, not wanting the looks nor the pity. Though his disguise was different than Derek's, it was nothing more than that. A disguise, a desperate means to look normal.

He didn't know how Derek felt right now – his disguise had yet to fail him. He'd had a slip-up during an interrogation once, but he didn't think anyone had noticed, apart from Gideon. And that man was so perceptive, he had probably known before, just never acted upon it, never searched for the confirmation.

He didn't need to now. This was about Derek, whose disguise had suddenly fallen away, who didn't know what to do, how to act now. He had noticed that on the plane – Derek had been restless, and the rest of the team hadn't known how to act either. It had been a strange flight.

Hotch didn't know where Derek was right now, but he had a suspicions that his colleague had chosen to stay with Garcia. They had a bond together, and Garcia had been the only one to stay behind in Quantico while the rest of team had gone to Chicago. She would probably –no, _definitely_– be worried, and Derek was too much a gentleman to just leave her hanging. He knew Garcia would want to see him, not necessarily to talk, but just to see he was still alive and breathing, to let him know she was there for him.

They all were, and of course he knew that. But Garcia would show him, and that was exactly what Derek needed. Support.

It made him think about how they would react to **his** story – no doubt they'd be surprised, but what else? Compassion? Pity?

Someday, he decided, someday they would know. But it wouldn't be today.

* * *

**_ A little explanation: I know I'm pretty vague in this, and some people may not know why I'm writing about Hotch being abused. I'll just tell you...  
In the very beginning, the 4th episode or so, the unsub is someone who suffered from abuse at the hands of his father. Hotch interviewed him, saying something like 'It's no surprise some of them (those who have been abused) became abusers themselves' (again, SOMETHINg like that). AT the end, when the unsub is being taken away, Gideon and some others come in and the unsub says 'Some?' Hotch asks what he means, and he says that Hotch said that some people grow up to be murderers. Then Hotch replies, looking him straight in the eye: 'And some grow up to catch them'.  
You know what I'm talking about now? It's a pretty big statement. It's never been proven or anything, but I think it's very likely. So when Hotch said something about his father to a man in an episode more than one season later, I was pretty excited. He didn't mention any abuse, but he did say that he found out his father had cancer when he was fourteen (I believe). So, if his father did abuse him, he didn't suffer after his father died (because he died pretty quickly).  
This has become way too long, so I am just going to leave now. _**


	8. 2x14 The Big Game

_**I'm sorry I didn't update earlier! It's been like a month or so.  
I wrote this a pretty long while ago, I just didn't want to update any earlier.  
Also, I'm stupid. Why, you ask. Well, I answer, because I have deleted most of season 2 off my computer, even if in this story, season 2 is not finished yet. I have one episode left on my computer, so I guess I will rewatch that one and write a one-shot about it. If I remember.** **  
Ok, enough said - this takes place in The Big Game. That's the big one where Reid gets kidnapped by the schizophrenic Tobias Henkel, in case you forgot.  
I didn't make this about Reid, though. I just LOVED the beginning of the episode, with them in a bar. I wanted to BE in that bar and dance with Morgan. I wish men around here would dance anything like him.**_

Well, anyway, enough rambling. Enjoy!

* * *

The bodies in the room were moving around swiftly, fixed on the wordless game the movements held. She thought it was amazing how well some people could dance – how smooth, effortlessly and just **beautiful**_._ She wished she could dance like that herself, but she knew her body wouldn't allow her to look so good on a dance floor. Besides, she had never had the practise, nor did she have the natural grace. _Unlike others_, she thought, watching him.

He moved around, two, three women dancing near him, concentrated on the way their body interacted with that of the male in their presence. If she stared at it long enough, she could see it as some kind of mating ritual – like she'd seen on TV sometimes. The female fluttered around, trying to attract attention. The male would make a move, the female responded.

Maybe this specific dancing ritual didn't end with actual mating, but it did show some biological instinct in humans she thought was beautiful. Most people probably didn't even notice the way their behaviour was still animalistic in a way – trying to distinguish themselves from animals, they would skip over anything that made them related to what they didn't **want** to be related to. She thought it was strange – what was wrong with an animalistic mating ritual, translated into human behaviour, if it looked so beautiful?

But he noticed, she was sure of that. He knew what was going on behind this simple dance, knew what it meant when one of the women flashed him a challenging smile.

--

She wasn't stupid enough to think he was hers, because he wasn't. They were friends. Granted, they were good friends who flirted endlessly, but nothing would ever come from that. Even if she admitted to herself she had the tiniest crush on him. But who didn't? He was definitely gorgeous, he had humour, he had an amazing body and he was smart. He attracted attention in pretty much any situation he was in, and not only from the women. It was just the way he was: even though she knew he wasn't always comfortable with it, she realized he was used to it, had accepted it as a part of his life.

It was easy to think men like him had everything – no problems, no concerns, just endless fun. But she knew that wasn't the truth. She knew there were things that bothered him, cases that left him weary and broken, relationships that caused him to worry. There were things in his own past, things she didn't know everything about but she was sure they were worse than she knew, worse than she could ever even begin to imagine. He'd had a pretty rough childhood – death, street kids and abuse had been part of it.

He hadn't told her, though, and she was okay with that. Maybe he didn't want to burden her with it, or he thought she couldn't handle it. He should know she could.

She knew it would not be smart to pressure him, since he would tell her when he was ready – or he wouldn't talk at all. Maybe he would wait until fate finally forced him to reveal the details of what he had kept secret for so long. Either way, she decided, when the truth did come out, whenever her hero needed her, she'd be there for him – anyplace, anywhere, anytime.


	9. 2x18 Jones

**_So, a short one, again. This one takes place just after Jones, the episode where the team goes to New Orleans.  
I know the episode dealt with Reid's drug issues, but for some reason I've never found that particularly interesting. The thing JJ and Will developed, though... now THAT was interesting._**

**_As for this episode in general... Well, this was the only season 2 episode I had left on my computer, and ...  
I AM GOING TO NEW ORLEANS!  
In about a month. I'm pretty excited. :). _**

* * *

JJ massaged her temples gently as she sat in the comfortable chair. Since they'd boarded the plane, she had developed a headache and it wasn't getting better now that she was high in the air.

She didn't know why she'd given Will his number earlier. Well, she could explain it, but there were so many things at stake she wondered why she hadn't listened to her rational voice.

He was interested in her, that much was clear from their flirting and his words. How serious, she didn't know. She doubted it was serious enough to fly over to Quantico, or for her to fly over to New Orleans.

It was just a phone number, she reminded herself. No attachments at all. He wouldn't intentionally hurt her, that much she was sure of. He was too much a gentleman to do so.

--

JJ looked at the others, most of them sound asleep, slumped in their chairs and Emily stretched out on the couch.

She had not told them. Why would she? They gave their phone numbers to people all the time.

She started as her phone vibrated. _Speak of the devil_… she thought, smiling, as she read the text message.

_Missing you already_, it said, and there was no doubt as to who the message was from. Smiling, she added his phone number to her contact list and then shut it off.

--

He was sweet and disarmingly honest about his feelings. It was refreshing, after all the previous men she'd dated, always trying to be tough and hide their emotions. She hadn't been in a commitment long enough to have a proper introduction with their softer side. But she had a feel that with Will, it would be different.

JJ decided that she would see how it went. Maybe he'd call her once and then forget all about her, meet some New Orleans woman and fall head over heels with her. She tried to ignore the pang that ignited in her stomach at that thought.

She couldn't be falling in love with someone she'd met only once, could she? Sure, they had worked together closely for a time, but now they were both going to their respective homes, in cities about a thousand miles away.

It would just be calling, she told herself again. It would be fun. She smiled as she thought of Will. He was funny, sweet and honest. Maybe she didn't know him well enough yet to say he was perfect, but he certainly wasn't the worst male specimen in the world.

It could just work.

* * *


	10. 3x01 Doubt

**_Thanks for the reviews to the previous chapter people! Glad ya'll liked it. Very glad :)._**

Well, I was on a roll a couple of nights ago, and I wrote like 3 chapters without ever resting. So the next couple of chapters may not be very good.  
And this one is confusing. It came from my own thoughts lately, my story Touch and the episode. This is the episode where girls are being murdered on a college campus, by the way.

It's written from both Emily's and JJ's POV, and I wrote that down because it wasn't very clear. Just them two being the regular women on the team (yeah, Garcia, but she isn't often out in the field) makes them perfect 'targets' for this story.

**_Enjoy!_**

* * *

EMILYPOV

Emily opened the door of the car to let out the girl, who was crying silently in the seat. She put her gun away, then moved closer and reached out to the girl. "You okay?" When the girl didn't visibly react, she panicked a little. "Did he hurt you?"

"No," the girl sobbed. Relieved, Emily only said "okay" as she guided the girl out of the car and onto her feet. She stared at her, her eyes wide with fear and apprehension. "It's okay," Emily told her. "Okay," she repeated, as she held onto the girl and helped her walk. She looked towards the others, who were arresting Tubbs, and couldn't help but feel satisfied as she watched them. Finally he'd get what he deserved. Brunettes being attacked at their campus – it was concerning to her, not only because of the physical resemblance. They all resembled the victimology at some case.

It was the fact that these girls were supposed to be _safe_ at campus, not worrying about a serial killer on the loose.

But now they needn't worry anymore, she reminded herself, as she gently put the girl's head down so that she wouldn't bump her head on the car. It was over.

--

Emily looked away as Aliza hugged JJ. Not only did it remind her of the slumbering motherly feelings inside of her, but it also felt wrong to give the students comforting news while they weren't even sure they had the right guy. She started to doubt it herself now. There was simply no evidence – and no matter how much they suspected, they needed to have some evidence.

--

During an unguarded moment she felt her thoughts drift away to something that had often crossed her mind lately – children.

She wanted them, she had no doubt about that. She was willing to take everything that came with it, but she wanted to be a mother to some child. To be able to hold her child, comfort him or her and be there for her child. She didn't know why exactly she felt like this, but she knew it was the reason why child-cases had been even harder on her lately. They were always hard, on everyone, but her recent wishes had made them even worse.

She wondered if the team was okay with her mothering them – not all of them, of course, Gideon nor Hotch needed a mother – but the younger ones, especially Reid and JJ. Even if she knew they were experienced agents, they had a kind of innocence over them that just made her want to fuss. She tried not to, knowing they were full-grown adults who could take care of their own.

She wondered if Hotch ever felt like this with the team. After all, it was his team, and after Gideon he was the oldest on it. She wondered whether having a real son actually helped diverting those feelings to Jack instead of to the team.

But these thoughts were useless, she thought idly. She was thirty-seven; she'd have to have a proper relationship first if she wanted a biological child, and there wasn't even a hint of that right now. First things first, she decided.

--

JJPOV

"I'll remember, trying to figure out who I was," JJ told Emily and Reid, smiling as she thought back to her college days. She enjoyed these kinds of conversations. They were light-hearted, yet important to her.

"You move around enough you get used to being whoever people want you to be," Emily said seriously. JJ threw her a contemplative look, asking Emily to elaborate, when Reid redirected her attention to Aliza and Katie, who were walking towards them.

"There's a rumour going around you caught the guy," Aliza said hurriedly, without greeting them. "Is it – is it true?"

JJ thought quickly. She wanted to comfort these girls, but she couldn't lie either.

"We have someone in custody," she said carefully.

She hadn't expected Aliza to hug her and was surprised, but after a moment responded.

It made her feel strange, but not in a bad way. She thought it might be her mother instinct, waking up as she held the younger woman in her arms. She'd felt it before, a couple of times during child cases, but the bad ones always overshadowed the good ones.

--

When Reid got the news and signalled that Anna hadn't survived, JJ looked hesitantly at the girl next to her, then pulled Katie to her without thinking any further.

And as she comforted the girl, she couldn't help but think that this girl didn't deserve to have so much happening – her best friend dead, and now the bullied girl dead – the clichéd victims, and yet it was so hard to cope with. It was only fair that JJ was there to help her with at least some of the pain.

It was a role she was comfortable with, she thought, being the one people could rely on, like she'd told Hotch on the plane once. Being the shoulder to cry on. Maybe, someday, she'd have a real reason to be that person. Maybe, someday, she'd have a child…

She could definitely see it with Will, though they hadn't talked about it yet. Even though just a few weeks had passed since she'd seen him on the case, she already missed him. Their phone calls were pleasant and a nice distraction and she didn't want them to stop anytime soon.

Who knew…


	11. 3x03 Scared to Death

_**Well, I just found this and realized I hadn't published it yet. I've got another one, too.**_

_**This was after Gideon had left - boy, that is such a long time ago, lol.**_

_**Anyway, enjoy!**_

* * *

It hurt.

That was the simple truth – what it all came down to in the end. What really mattered. Maybe the old wounds of his father leaving were ripped open again, maybe it was because he had lost a father figure _again_ – it didn't matter. All that mattered is that Gideon was gone, he was not coming back and even more so, he didn't have any reason to be angry at Gideon for doing so. He could understand only too well. He'd struggled himself – hell, they all had. And Gideon was so much older than he was, he had seen so much more it was a miracle he had survived the BAU for so long.

Rationally, he could explain and understand it. He could not blame Gideon for his actions.

But emotionally… he was confused, angry, hurt, disappointed, all in one and he knew that while those feelings were normal, he didn't want to have them.

The bottle of Dilaudid seemed all the more attractive now. Just a little bit and he could forget all of it for the moment…

But he knew he couldn't. He'd made a promise to himself, he owed it to himself and to others. He was not that weak. He had survived his father leaving, he could also survive Gideon leaving.

And he had friends now. The team would be there for him, through their own problems they would help him. Probably not even consciously, but they would try to make him smile and to make him forget about the bad things. It was what they did: he had become used to it by now, and he found himself appreciating the small gestures more and more.

It was just something else he would overcome. He would definitely miss Gideon, miss the fatherly attitude, the games of chess and the subtle suggestions the man gave to everyone. Everybody would miss them.

But eventually he would turn his attention to other things. He wouldn't forget, but he would remember less often.

He was already looking forward to that time.

* * *


	12. 3x04 In Birth and Death

_**Hi again!**_

_**This was the second piece I found. **_

* * *

When they heard the screams, they immediately recognized them as belonging to Carrie. With one look at each other they started to run, JJ almost slipping as she turned into Carrie's room.

She was thrashing wildly in her bed, but calmed down a bit as JJ grabbed her shoulders.

"Carrie, Carrie! Carrie! Wake up! Wake up, wake up," JJ said. "It's okay."

Carrie closed her eyes. "It was daddy," she said, tears in her eyes and voice. JJ pulled her towards her.

"It's okay, it's just a dream," she said soothingly, looking at Emily over Carrie's shoulder. Emily was looking around, slightly uncomfortable, and was glad when she found something to say.

"We brought you a change of clothes," she said a bit shakily, and JJ smiled. "I didn't know what to grab you so I just… got three of everything."

Emily looked around and noticed something about the room – it was full with flowers. She frowned. "Looks like a flower shop in here," she said lightly, not wanting to upset Carrie.

"Yeah," Carrie said hoarsely, "they all started coming in after the news broadcast."

She was calmer now, though JJ continued stroking the girl's hair.

Emily didn't notice. She recognized the flowers…

--

JJ watched as Emily talked with Carrie, who had picked out the Hispanic in a row of nine people. She could hear the conversation, and forced herself not to smile.

She'd noticed it, the way Emily behaved differently around children. She was good with them, no doubt about that, but it was something else, and JJ, being a woman herself, thought she knew what it was. She decided she'd give her friend a bit of a boost.

--

"I think it's a good idea," JJ told Emily, not really sure how to say what she wanted to say.

Emily looked at her. "What's that?" she asked, still a bit subdued. She'd been this like ever since she'd heard that Carrie was going to live with family, and JJ understood why.

"You. Kids. I can see it," JJ answered, glad to see Emily smile, though it was a rather sad smile.

"Yeah?" she asked insecurely, looking at JJ, who simply nodded.

She looked outside into the dark night and smiled.

She could see it, too.

* * *

_**Reasons for you to review:**_

_**1. This is the first update in months. And this time, I am not exaggerating.**_

_**2. I feel like crap.**_

_**3. It's a holiday!**_

_**4. I basically work every day. 16 years old, and during a holiday, just get the image, so I'm kind of depressed most of the time.**_

_**5. I love reviews!**_

_**6. You love reviews, too.**_

_**7. 1 till 6 should be enough.**_

_**and 8. My neighbour is making very annoying sounds that give me an urge to get down and rip out the whatever is causing the noise.  
**_


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